So I finally moved a few blog posts over from my former blog (which is located at

I only moved three.. they seemed to be the most important to me to have on here.  As I have said in those last few posts, I am hoping to make this a place for people to come to see that there are other people struggling with the same problems and inner conflict as I have.

I saw my therapist last week and reported nothing but seemingly good news. My new antidepressants are kicking in and I am feeling about 50% better. I have noticed I have had less anxiety attacks lately. I was really feeling great when I saw her on tuesday.

… And then the week happened. It’s so funny how much what’s going on around you and in your life can directly affect your emotional status. The last two weeks have been rough. My best friend suffered a severe concussion on Christmas eve and I have been to the ER with her twice. The last time was this past sunday and she got admitted to the hospital. I spent the night with her there for two nights, got her home tuesday afternoon and settled into my house to recover. That night I got a phone call and had to go check on a friend who was almost 90 days sober. Unfortunately when I arrived he was very drunk and told me he had taken a lot of Klonopin. I had to call an ambulance and spent the night in the ER again.. This time all night I was awake, calming him down, keeping him from getting loud, etc. I got three hours of sleep that night.

Friday I had a steroid injection into my SacroIliac joint. This was my second injection. The first one was a month ago and when she gave it to me she told me there was a 24 hour numbing medication mixed in it to help keep me comfortable after the injection. I had a few good weeks where I was taking less meds than I usually do and then it quickly switched to extreme pain the week before my next shot appointment. Unfortunately it didn’t go so smoothly this time. I got my shot friday morning and spent the rest of the weekend wishing I could just rip the whole joint apart to somehow make it stop. I described it to my dad tonight perfectly. It felt like she took a 5 inch needle that was 1 inch thick, shoved it in between the sacroiliac joint, jerked it around trying to tear stuff up in there, and then injected a half a cup of lead into it. All weekend every time I would stand up from a sitting position I would have this severe tearing sensation in my bum and SI joint. It was very odd and very painful.

So to return to my original point…

All of the events of the last week have really taken a toll on my emotional health. I am feeling a big surge in my depression and I have been very anxious lately. I am definitely hopeful that it will pass and I will soon be back to feeling better. I have been nursing my sick friend 24/7 lately as well and I have gotten on her sleep schedule from her meds. She has been sleeping until 12pm because of the medications she takes at night and then she is up till after midnight since she slept all day. Since I have been with her every day for the last two weeks and sleeping in the same bed it has made my sleep schedule follow hers. I am certain that the crazy sleep schedule is also attributing to my depression surge. I need to get that sorted out soon too.