So Ethan and I endeavored across VA, NC, and TN today. As of late even short trips in the car were extreme tests of my sanity and ability to control my temper with Ethan. With my anxiety so high that every time he made a single noise on the drive from home to my mom’s house in the mornings made me lose my temper and blow my lid on him.

I have been on the new medications for approximately three weeks now. I had a follow up yesterday and was given the go-ahead to tweak them based on circumstances. For example this weekend will be highly stressful and he suggested I take an extra dose in the evenings to help me cope. Well… today started out at 4:15 am when I had to wake up, get dressed, and hit the road for Ethans daddy’s house to pick him up and hit the road for our 12 hour trip. I was so anxious about this trip all weekend that my stomach was tied in imaginary knots and my pain was exponentially worse. We hit the road by 6 am and our journey began…

I was hopeful that with the waking up at 5 am he would fall into a deep, quiet, wonderful sleep as soon as we hit the road. Oh boy, was I wrong. He didn’t sleep the entire 12 hours. In fact, he didn’t stop making some sort of noise the entire trip. Whether it was talking, singing, whining, toy noise, DVD sound, or just rustling around he was non-stop making some sort of nerve-racking sound. Now.. PRE-jen-back-in-the-saddle-on-meds I would have literally been screaming and cursing at him the entire 12 hour trip but I handled this remarkably well. I was quite happy with my ability to distract myself, control my irritation, distract him, and just plain ignore it. It’s not how I’ve been able to handle my life lately and I truly believe that the medications are the primary reason.

Now I am not an advocate for immediate medication of symptoms. The most important thing is recognition and treatment of the originating cause of your symptoms in my opinion. However, often times therapy is not enough and in cases like that I believe that it is never shameful to seek medication for your treatment. In three short weeks mine have already changed my life remarkably and I am grateful for that. I have been able to come home from work, shop for groceries, cook, clean, play with my son, and get hobbies done all in one night recently whereas I was literally crawling into bed and letting my son fend for him self three weeks ago. Please don’t be ashamed of the stigma attached to medications in the treatment of depression or other psychiatric conditions.. they just may change your life for the better.

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. ~Walt Disney